Alone, dragging his torched feet through the scorching infernos: the one man exodus. As if sin casted a plague on him. Seems like the stairway of heaven is missing a step. A blind turn into such abyssal fate. And the fall. It was not a shallow one. It was not a shallow one... I begin to close my eyes, but I kept falling and falling... and falling. It just kept hitting me. Over and over again. As if a gauntlet made of frozen tears broke through my sternum, followed by countless endeavors to tear out my shattered-bone pierced heart. I try to struggle by resisting its pull, but my body lay helpless to its inflictor. A dark smirk underneath the shadows of the hood mock me as I relentlessly try to savage my soul that held the memories of the one I love.
Maybe I won't understand my venting in the future, so I guess I’ll help myself later on by making it clearer now. At least the last part. I guess I can say I’m jealous... actually, I am. Who am I jealous of? Those who've got what they don't realize they have. It seems like our lives are the lucky pair to be selected in being made difficult. But wait, I’m being a hypocrite. let's take a step back to open up our eyes once more, and we'll see that we still have each other and new obstacles that yield creative ways around it (and surprises that come with it). Despite this, I’ve lost the ability that I envy in others who may freely act. That is to say, hug. I see it all around. Though I dearly want to, if it weren't for these self imposed fetters binding me back. It is my respect and honor that strip the pleasures in my life, imprisoning my heart behind these jail-like ribs.
Puzzles aren't solved. Their mysteries remain a secret until the right person comes around and understands it.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Sunday, May 4, 2008
A Brand New Light
Albert Einstein once said "in the middle of difficulty lies opportunity." well, seeing as how prom's rolling in, and I’m no longer attending, I will try to find such opportunity. Thinking about it, I’ve developed and cherished this new personal connotation of "prom" in a different light. This year, "prom" symbolizes any moment when I get to spend time with the one I love. I guess it is inescapable to say now that prom will come one day early for me. :)
Friday, May 2, 2008
Oasis
It was only an oasis. Such a false illusion was short lived. Why must such tears dry so soon? When will this drought be spared and replenish with the reviving rain? We’ll soon see.
Despite our kismet. The foreseen future. Everything will be okay. My intentions shouldn't be glossed over as seemingly hastily thought over though. It was not an act chosen out of the blue. On the outside, it seems like a purely instinctive act. Even though I know the probability of a positive response, my reason for even acting so subsumes the desire to make new cherishing memories. I even predicted the manner in which the response was to be given. I even thought about how the other side would be thinking. My act would be viewed as plain stupid because it's idiotic to keep asking, keep striving, especially when pushing the limits of irrationality. Yes, I admit love makes us all do such a silly thing, seeing as how I even dared going through with such a headstrong thing. It’s okay though. What remains, I don't regret. What I’ve done, I don't regret. It’s only the things that can't be achieved or hesitated and never followed through with, that I do regret.
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Thinking back on it, it may seem like I’ve given a lot. But in retrospect, for the coming few years, it will probably seem like I haven't given enough. All these little gifts exchanged between the two of us. On a similar note, least that's how I always thought about pictures. After looking through a countless number of times through a photo album, don't you wish you could go back in time and take more? As if you would want to capture every single precious moment in a picture or video? Of course. but I would not like to go into that extreme because then it would impede our natural lives; we wouldn't be appreciating the moment we're living in. but I guess there's always that want for more pictures that will forever decorate our memories.
Despite our kismet. The foreseen future. Everything will be okay. My intentions shouldn't be glossed over as seemingly hastily thought over though. It was not an act chosen out of the blue. On the outside, it seems like a purely instinctive act. Even though I know the probability of a positive response, my reason for even acting so subsumes the desire to make new cherishing memories. I even predicted the manner in which the response was to be given. I even thought about how the other side would be thinking. My act would be viewed as plain stupid because it's idiotic to keep asking, keep striving, especially when pushing the limits of irrationality. Yes, I admit love makes us all do such a silly thing, seeing as how I even dared going through with such a headstrong thing. It’s okay though. What remains, I don't regret. What I’ve done, I don't regret. It’s only the things that can't be achieved or hesitated and never followed through with, that I do regret.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
16.
17.
18.
19.
Thinking back on it, it may seem like I’ve given a lot. But in retrospect, for the coming few years, it will probably seem like I haven't given enough. All these little gifts exchanged between the two of us. On a similar note, least that's how I always thought about pictures. After looking through a countless number of times through a photo album, don't you wish you could go back in time and take more? As if you would want to capture every single precious moment in a picture or video? Of course. but I would not like to go into that extreme because then it would impede our natural lives; we wouldn't be appreciating the moment we're living in. but I guess there's always that want for more pictures that will forever decorate our memories.
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